Monday, February 28, 2011

Deep Space Cuisine

People often ask me, "Jack, do you eat sushi on the Lost Moon of Jupiter?"

As you may know, I was present in Southern California for the birth of the American sushi craze, and I rapidly embraced the phenomenon. As a young bachelor DJ, my diet already consisted of a lot of Rice-A-Roni and Gorton's Fish Sticks, so I relished the opportunity to translate those ingredients into a more upscale culinary experience. I recommended the tempura bar at the sublime Tokyo Kaikan restaurant (since closed) numerous times on the air, and I actually introduced Supertramp's Roger Hodgson to his first California Roll. (In gratitude, he presented me with my first tin of kippers.)

But it probably won't surprise you to hear that sushi has been harder to come by in the years since I've moved to space. Contrary to popular belief, there are fish on the Lost Moon, but they live two miles below the surface in a massive subterranean ocean that's very hard to get to. Also, unlike most of the inhabitants of the Lost Moon, the fish tend to be pretty hostile.

Sea Monster Battle illustration by Shigeru Komatsuzaki.

So the concept of eating seafood is basically unknown around these parts. (I've introduced the aliens to Mungo Jerry's "In the Summertime," and they're big fans, but the lyrics about "fishing" are totally lost on them.)  And while I've repeatedly written to the Gorton's company about having some frozen entrees shipped up here, they've yet to oblige.  Apparently, fish doesn't keep very well on a 365 million mile journey across the vacuum of space.

Basically, as far as sushi goes, this interplanetary traveler's learned to live without.

But it looks like my luck's about to change, friends!  The brilliant minds at Japanese cosmetics, pharmaceutical, and food product conglomerate Kracie Holdings, Ltd., have finally done for sushi what NASA did for ice cream!


Popin' Cookin'! As soon as I get 258 yen together, you better believe I'm going to get my hands on this intellectual education candy.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Death & Rebirth

Politicians in My Eyes / Keep on Knocking original 45 by DeathFor us vintage record collectors, there's always a list of fabled vinyl relics that urges us onward, whether our treasure hunts take us to the garage sales of Boyle Heights or the flea markets of Titan.  Every time we flip through a stack of cardboard sleeves, at least some small part of us is hoping, against all odds, to find one of these Golden Fleeces or Holy Grails.  Some of them are rare editions of well-known masterpieces, like an original track pressing of The Freewheelin'  Bob Dylan or a Butcher Cover edition of The Beatles' Yesterday and Today.  But my personal quest visions have always revolved around more obscure 45s, garage rock rarities like the Hush Puppies' "Hey, Stop Messing Around" or Denise and Company's "Boy, What'll You Do Then," singles on forgotten record labels that only ever printed a few hundred (or dozen) copies to begin with.

Bobby and Dannis HackneyFor many years, one of my favorite, nearly-impossible-to-find records was a 7-inch called "Politicians in My Eyes" by the band Death.  Death was a visionary protopunk trio from Detroit, made up of the brothers David, Bobby, and Dannis Hackney.  They recorded an album's worth of tracks in the mid-seventies, but their iconoclastic sound (and, according to legend, their refusal to change their decidedly non-commercial name) alienated them to record labels.  In 1976, Death put two songs from its studio sessions on a self-released single ("Politicians" and its B-side, "Keep on Knocking").  500 copies were pressed.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day from the Lost Moon

Well folks, I had a blast this weekend subbing in as host of the popular romantic call-in show Love Notes with Veronica. For a thrilling hour on Saturday night, I calibrated the Lost Moon's radio transmitter for Southern California's KUPD and beamed down a line-up of my all-time favorite love tracks. It felt great to be on FM radio again, even if just for one evening, and the whole experience only heightened my resolve to get Lost Moon Radio back on the air in a permanent way in 2011!

I took some listener calls between the tracks (boy, have I missed those!) and while dispensing a bit of encouragement to a Lonely Heart in Encino, I ended up relating an anecdote about my old friend Mary Jankowski and our personal Valentine's Day tradition.

Mary Jankowski, Grade 8
It all started back in the 8th Grade when I decided to ask Mary to the big dance with a homemade Valentine: a picture of Rod Serling glued onto a construction paper heart, upon which I'd written, "Submitted for your approval: will you go to the St. Michael's 8th Grade Cotillion with me?" I slipped it under her desk during morning roll call. At the end of the day she told me she was already going to the dance with Kevin Donnelly, but that my card was the weirdest thing anybody had ever given her.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Preparing for a One-Night Stand

Friends, Valentine's Day will be here before we know it, and as such, it's time for me to reveal a lifelong crush of mine...

I'm talking about commercial radio. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. True, commercial radio is the beast that brought us shock jocks, Rush Limbaugh, and the ludicrous concept of a Top 40. But she also brought us War of the Worlds, Wolfman Jack, and Jim Ladd.  For 30-some odd years, I was proud to call her my special lady.

But as my regular Lost Moon Radio listeners know, this love affair has been on the skids since this past June, and it's been a humbling experience. Sure, I've had my dalliances in the meantime, broadcasting from a high school basement, ruminating into a dictaphone up here on the Lost Moon ... but they're just not the same. Just as Dick Burton couldn't stay long away from Liz, I can't resist the siren's call of wide-band FM. A love as grand as mine can only be measured in megahertz! I've gotta channel my broadcasts through the most powerful transistor towers outside of a U2 concert!

Well, I'm happy to say that I'm finally getting my chance! That's right, in just a few days, I'll be making a one-night stand with commercial radio.

On Saturday night, February 12, I'll be filling for my old industry buddy Ronnie Krantz (better known to many of you simply as "Veronica") on the home of Southern California's softest love hits, KUPD: The Cupid. Ronnie's got an unmissable date that night and she asked me if I could sub for her. Obviously, Love Notes with Veronica's usual blend of easy listening and power ballads is a little different from my regular format, but I'm confident that her base of female adult contemporary fans ages 25 to 54 will adapt comfortably to Lost Moon Radio's brand of psychedelic freeform rock. In the spirit of the approaching holiday, I'm building a set around the theme of "Love."

So set your dial to KUPD this Saturday, Angelenos! Or, if you prefer a communal listening experience, head down to Café-Club Fais Do-Do, where I know they'll be tuned into the broadcast. They charge a small admission, but I have it on good authority that all proceeds from the evening will go to benefit the advocacy and outreach organization Autism Speaks.

I hope you catch the show. While I'm only preparing for a one-night stand, I could be ready for a relationship in the right situation.  I'm putting myself out there.